Remember the administration's big movie deal?  The government subsidy program that ties a steak around our necks so the dog will play with us, writing a check to Hollywood to pay for almost half a film's production costs if they'd only be willing to set-up shop in Michigan for a few weeks?  We get word this morning that it's snagged it's first catch!  

Get ready, ladies and gentlemen, for a taste of tinseltown in the Grand Rapids area.  Producers of a crime drama called "The Fifth Mafia" decided they just couldn't say no to the free money the Governor was offering them.  Your money.  Hard at work.

Are you sitting down?  You should be sitting down.  Because I'm about to tell you about the big-name star of the sure-fire hit and you're going to be really excited.  I mean, the cast list sort of makes me reconsider all of my criticism.  I'm finding it harder and harder to argue with the program.  This looks like the kind of project that could really catch Hollywood's attention.  Once folks find out that "The Fifth Mafia" was filmed in Grand Rapids they might have to consider erecting a HOLLYWOOD  2 sign somewhere along I-96.  It's going to be that big a deal.

Ready?  I know, the anticipation is killing you.  

James freaking Van Der Beek!  That's right.  The guy from Dawson's Creek!  (I know, the picture gave it away.)  That big, tall, Netherlands looking guy is going to be making a mafia movie right here in Michigan!  Can you even believe it?  I'm so excited.  I mean... there are movie stars and then there's James Van Der Beek.  And NOTHING says mafia like the dutch.  I'm... blown away.  

I guess their big star was going to be that TV actor from Criminal Minds, Joe Mantegna, but since they decided to shoot in Michigan instead of California it looks like he's backing out.  Loser.  Apparently they don't have these contracts locked in stone just yet.  At least Dawson isn't being a bad sport.  Maybe he's got family here in west Michigan.  

We'll also get a heaping helping of regional pride knowing we played temporary-home to Director Vito J. Giambalvo.  If you don't recognize the name that's because you're one of those losers who ignores the end credits after your favorite TV show.  If you'd actually paid attention you would KNOW that Vito made his mark as a camera operator on The Facts of Life and The Real Roseanne Show, did a cameo on one episode of Murphy Brown back in 1989 and actually directed three episodes of my all-time favorite urban sitcom... wait for it.... GIRLFRIENDS!

Actually, no, you know what?  I'm proud.  Because my tax dollars are making this happen.  Yours too.  

And that feels good, doesn't it?  Knowing that the check you made out to the Michigan Treasury yesterday is going to be a part of the $2,520,000 we're giving Vito and Dawson to make a TV movie right in your backyard?  

That's the cost to taxpayers, by the way.  $2,520,000.  Which is 42% of $6 million.  The total budget for a movie that Joe Mantegna turned down.  In other words, it's got Blockbuster written all over it.  With a capital B.  Get it?  Low budget?  Direct to video?  Blockbuster?  Nevermind.